I personally like this blurb written by Karen Young (2018) when describing how children assess situations with people in costumes on holidays: This example applies to all holidays and situations that may be similar. The caregiver can then choose to explain to the child what they just experienced and let them know if they should be scared, or not.

They may run away or seek a caregiver that can provide comfort.

A child on the other hand will become startled and soon after realizing they cannot rationalize if this ghost on the door is a threat or not, they become fearful and untrusting of that door. You may assess that it is a decoration and although you may be startled you need not to run away. Imagine you are trick-or-treating on Halloween night and approach a house with a ghost hanging on the door, but as you get closer it starts moving around and making noises. They simply cannot rationalize at this point in their life that you are just behind a door and will come back out eventually. Do that again later the same day and they’ll have the same exact response. The second you reemerge they are happy again. They now think you are gone forever and start crying, fearful that you have abandoned them. You walked away and they can no longer see you. For example, if you are playing with a child and get up to use the bathroom the second you disappear behind the door the toddler may get upset and cry and yell for you.

We can identify the emotions we feel and choose to express those emotions, but we do not know how to rationalize and assess the entire situation that we are experiencing. As adults we know how to rationalize our anxieties and fears to help us assess a situation, but as children our brains are not that fully developed. The combination of anxiety and fear resulted in our brains developing our flight or fight (and freeze) responses, which are responsible for our decision making and survival instincts. The Merriam-Webster definition of fear is described as an unpleasant, often strong, emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger (Merriam-Webster, 2018). Her fear is so much stronger than it was last year, when did this happen!?” Many parents and individuals know about the developmental milestones of emotions, but how we handle them can be quite different and it is important to be mindful of these emotions in children around holidays such as Halloween. She announced that she was scared and buried her head in my shoulder and it was that moment when I realized “Whoa, she’s never said that before. For the first time in her toddlerhood my daughter froze and looked up at the animatronic scary man and immediately looked worried and reached for me. Some are just creepy looking masks while others were full animatronic figures making loud noises. With Halloween approaching my girls were ready to pick out their own costumes, which was very exciting for us since they are finally at an age to understand what costumes are and that Halloween can be fun! As we walk into the store the first thing that any consumer would notice are the Halloween displays on the floor, walls, and ceiling. When confronted with a scary situation the toddler will turn toward their caregiver for reassurance and comfort.

Around 2 years old a child has a deep rooted understanding of the dependence they have on the love and protection of significant adults, and having this understanding helps strengthen the trust that the toddler already had for their caregivers (Susan A. Fear in children starts developing at infancy around 6-8 months of age when they develop separation anxiety. What was once just separation anxiety as a baby has grown into worry and fear in toddlerhood. An interesting component to development is watching emotions grow into more mature, stronger emotions. I feel that with every passing month they are reaching new milestones and developing new emotions. Having children of my own and watching their brains develop every single day is simply put, astonishing. The emotion I am referring to is Fear, and even though our society does not like to glorify being scared, I’m here to tell you why we in fact need to embrace it. This emotion can be a defense mechanism, it can trigger our fight, flight, or freeze response, it literally is an emotion that has helped us survive and grow over centuries. With Halloween approaching I am going to be focusing on one emotion that we develop at a young age. The downside is that it also provides us with negative experiences like disappointment, anger, frustration, stress, anxiety, depression…unfortunately this list can also become overwhelming. The human brain is a marvelous organ that provides life with so many fun experiences, such as happiness, laughter, excitement, motivation, enthusiasm…the list can go on for pages.

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